You see this morning, as I was sitting in church, listening to the offertory, I was thinking about the little boy who was just taken kicking and screaming out of the sanctuary. Yeah..that kid everyone looks at. Oh wait...that would be MY kid. And I was thinking about the kicking that was going on that moment INSIDE my stomach by my violent and already opinionated little girl.
And I was remembering something that my wonderful Pastor and his wife had told me recently, and how much I needed to remind myself of it, over and over, especially RIGHT NOW.
Satan is after me.Whoa lady...where did THAT come from?!!?
Bear with me. I'll try to make sense of it.
You see it's easy for us ladies in general, but especially moms, and especially moms of little ones to forget the BIG picture in the everyday. Oh sure we think of our kid's 401k's, and their college applications as they sit before us pooing in their pants (lovely picture ain't it?!)...but we forget SO EASILY the REAL big picture that there is in life. The SPIRITUAL picture. What those little ones will do for the KINGDOM. What these little toddling, screaming, demanding beings will one day do to bring eternal glory to our Lord. It's easy to forget, when we're getting spaghetti thrown in our face, or changing the 5 billionth disgusting diaper blowout, that what we do right now matters SO MUCH.
We think because we're not out in the working world, or we're not reading to orphans in China, or even able to ladel soup at a homeless shelter...that we're not doing anything for God. So we don't see our struggles as mothers as being spiritually significant.
But i've heard it now, from several people, in many different ways...that RIGHT NOW Satan is trying to take me down as a mom. He is trying desperately to derail me ANY WAY HE CAN. He wants me to be a mom who looses her cool MORE than she prays for peace. He wants me to be the mom who is constantly trying to get away from my child (ren) instead of drawing them close. Because HE knows even better than I do right now how important this part of a child's life is.
What we as mommas do RIGHT NOW, with our defiant two year olds, and even our precious little non-sleeping newborns WILL affect the person they become.
WHAT?!So that means when I've HAD IT UP TO HERE with W's constant overreaction (and we're talking jerseyshorerealhousewifesofOCscreamin'and weavepulling overreacting) to EVERYTHING, and instead of getting on my KNEES and begging God for the grace to get through this, I BLOW UP and scream back.....The devil scores one. He can't HAVE me, and he can't HAVE my babies, but he can derail ME and in turn derail what MY babies will do for Jesus.
But as I sat there thinking about this in my pew, I was also reminded that GOD knows what Satan is up to. and HE knows even BETTER what our influence over our tiny children will ultimately do for His Kingdom. I don't know about you, but that brings tears to my eyes. Maybe it's my mushy-pregnant emotions going at full tilt, but the picture of God cheering me on as I struggle to discipline my unruly toddler, or as I throw up in the sink multiple times, because HE KNOWS what will come of this....makes me feel like i could take on the freakin' world!
HE values this battlefield I'm on more than anyone else can. He knows the people that will be reached through my children, who first learned of God's love through little, tired, stretched-out me.
I feel like I need this TATTOOED on my arm. So that when W is hitting me for asking if he'd like juice (true story!), or when my little bean of a girl is trying to give herself more space by hammering my organs, I can remember...that God sees that I am fighting. And that He wants me to fight ....for HIM.