You see I'm a play it safe kind of girl.
I follow rules, I do what is expected of me, I don't go crazy, or out on a limb. Those can be GOOD things...things that keep you from doing something stupid. But I know the downside to those traits is big too. . .I never DO anything.
I don't put myself out there. I wait for others to come to me when I'm wanting a new friend-because I'm AFRAID of being rejected. Of being the WEIRDO.
It means I pick safe things to wear, so I don't look silly...but it leaves me feeling boring.
And it keeps me from trying something so big/scary/new because I JUST DON'T WANT TO FAIL. Or look STUPID. or be LAUGHED AT.
I have been feeling a little tug to do something that I've been afraid of for a while now. You see I never thing myself terribly creative...but I still enjoy the creating. I've been feeling a pull to use what I create to BLESS & lift up others. To share encouragements I've received, with others, so that they may be encouraged.
The thought of that excites me and makes me want to dive in head first, and put myself out there. . . but the other part of me. The SCARED, PEOPLE FEARING me makes me stop. WHAT IF I FAIL AND EVERYONE I KNOW THINKS I'M a JOKE. That I can't DO anything.
The line "I just don't think I could take that kind of rejection!" straight out of Back to the Future is/has been my mantra.
But I want a new one. One that will make me take that jump.
"I can do all thing. . ." You know the rest don't you?
through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS me.
I'm praying, and hoping that this tug is from God. And I know if it is truly from Him, what He wants me to do...He WILL strengthen me. Quiet the butterflies and the paranoid rambler in my head, so i can do.
